We are all social beings. Community with other people can be fun and provide a sense of encouragement, belonging and support. Your community might be pivotal in helping you move or in providing a good recommendation for pizza near you.
Your community can also have a lot of meaningful influence on you. Those around you can influence how much you challenge yourself, how you raise your kids, what habits are acceptable or not, activities you choose to participate in and how much you prioritize relationships in your life.
Community consists of family, neighbors, coworkers, professional contacts and your friendships.
Adult Friendships
Making friends when we are younger can come with some challenges but it doesn't compare to the challenges we face as adults continuing to make friends.
There are so many competing priorities as adults that just don't come into play when we are younger.
As I connect with friends, coworkers and sometimes strangers, I hear a common question. "How can I make friends as an adult?"
With so many of us asking the question, I compiled some actions that we can take as adults to meet new friends as we also strive to build community for ourselves.
Tip #1 - Expand on a Hobby
Pick a hobby that you enjoy, like running, reading, furniture restoration, fishing or crafting (or whatever you like!) and then join a group around it. You will automatically start off with a shared interest and can see if there are people that seem interesting or that you connect easily with from the group.
Bonus: If your kids have hobbies or interests that keep you heading to practices and games or matches, those activities offer opportunities for connection with others who regularly attend those activities as well.
Tip #2 - Consider Something New
There are so many formats for learning something new or trying something new but each group setting offers an opportunity to experience something with others. You could attend a local class, workshop or online class that is available for anything you would like to learn more about.
Consider trying a new activity or being in a new environment where others will also share some common interests such as volunteering for an organization that you find meaningful or visiting an art exhibit that you think you will enjoy.
Learning something new or trying something new puts you in different surroundings and activities with new opportunities to meet friends!
Tip #3 - Tell Your Existing Community What You Are Looking For
You can build your community by putting yourself out there and taking some initiative toward meeting others but don't forget about using the community that you already have! Most people are especially giving within their community and would gladly make an introduction or keep your need in mind once they know about it.
The next time you are having lunch with a friend, mention what you are looking for in new friends. Allow your current community to help you build!
Tip #4 - Follow Up!
There are many times when you connect with someone and they say, "We should get together sometime and _________________" or "We should meet up for lunch when you are available". Rather than agree and move on - act on it!
Do you know someone that you connected with as part of an every day setting like your gym or a kid's practice? Ask if they would be interested in grabbing coffee to hear more and chat. Reach out and schedule. Don't let the opportunity pass you by!
Tip #5 - Initiate an Experience or Event
Last summer, I decided that I was going to take a bucket list trip to the Springfield Antique Show Extravaganza, a huge outdoor flea market and antique show. I cut out some information from a magazine 20 years earlier and held on to it. It was time to make it happen or get rid of the clipping.
I planned the trip a few months out and put it on my calendar. I reached out to a friend who I hadn't seen in awhile. She committed to joining me but then also organized a cheese making class for us the month before our trip.
It was so fun and not something that I would have done on my own. Those shared experiences grew my friendship and strengthened my community.
Do you have something you really want to do and could invite someone to go with you for a shared experience that might strengthen even a loose connection? Could you tell some friends that you are looking for others to join in on a specific event - perhaps they would like to share with their community as well?
Create the opportunity and see what happens!
Community Makes Us All Better
The short of it is that all of these tips require action in order to begin new relationships or deepen existing ones.
The payoff is that you can develop new relationships that may become close friendships. Those friendships will continue to support you as an adult and that become part of your larger community.
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